Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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