Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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