Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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