I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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