If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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