16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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