get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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