Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
