so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
