He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
