I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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