It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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