I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
