Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
