you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
