I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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