Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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