I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
