Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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