Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
