when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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