The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
