alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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