Kiss
Puke
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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