ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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