New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
