The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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