well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Randomize
