my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
