Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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