it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
