i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
how does that bad decision feel?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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