I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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