The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Randomize
