Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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