I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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