WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
