Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
