Pants 0. Shit 1.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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