I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
