some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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