Sry I called you an 8
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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