I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I feel like abortions should bother me more
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
