College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
