OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
