Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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