I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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