You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
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