Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
