maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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