You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
