Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
