I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
